I'm 21 years old, I live in the United States, and I follow back. I'm just a woman trying to find my Place, achieve my Peace, and connect with my Spirituality. If you need to know more, please feel free to ask.
“If you do not want me to fall for you, let me give you some advice:
Do not tell me about your favorite songs or the albums you like. I will listen to them and try to appreciate them because you love them, and then fall in love with you for the beautiful melancholy strains. Do not give me your favorite movie titles, because I will watch them and fall in love with you for the messages that they carry and what they say about you. Do not call me back when you say you will. Do not hold me close to your chest and kiss my forehead and tell me that I am special. I will believe you. Do not look at me with that burning stare that you fill with lust and romance because once burned by your fire, I will be blind to all others. And never, ever, let me kiss each and every freckle on your beautiful shoulders because I promise you that I will leave a piece of my heart in every one.”
-You should know that you’re digging my grave, my love.
oh jeez. okay, so there are going to be two of them, for the two different people.
Dear Person I like,
I’m sorry that I fell for you. I swore to both of us that I wouldn’t let myself fall for you, and I did anyway. I swore that I would be okay with you not loving me, but that wasn’t the case. I fell for you, and I fell hard. You have a beautiful soul, and I couldn’t help it. You make me laugh and you make me think and you make me want to be a better person than I ever have been. You brighten my life in so many ways. I wish that just once I could hold you and gently kiss you and tell you how much I care about you. I never wanted to feel this way, and I know that you never wanted me to. I’m sorry that I do, but I swear I’m letting go.
Dear Person I like,
I can’t believe that even after all this time apart, you are still so easy to be around. It’s weird how comfortable I feel around you. I love that we can just talk so easily, but at the same time just sitting quietly on the couch with you is so comfortable. I love how natural it feels to be cuddled next to you, tracing patterns on your skin. We don’t have to say anything, and it isn’t awkward. I love the freckles on your shoulders, and the way they shake when you laugh. I love the way your kiss still leaves me breathless. I love the way you look at me when you touch your forehead to mine, and the way you can never seem to decide whether you want to tangle your fingers through mine or in my hair. I love the way you look at me like I have all the stars in the universe humming under my skin, and the way you stutter a little when you’re trying to be smooth. I love your boundless energy, and with you leaping off of stairs and landings and furniture it’s like you’re flying. I love the way that you smelled as I laid with my cheek against your chest and your fingers trailing up and down my spine. I love the way that you make me feel brave enough to try new things and live more adventurously. I love the way that we talk about everything from sex to school to religion and philosophy to food to work and back again. I love that the flow feels so natural, and that you encourage me and give me perspective. And I love the things that we do. I love the way that you touch me and caress me and move with me. I love that you can pick me me up with just a single arm wrapped around my waist. I love that you kept your promise and kept talking to me afterward. That you didn’t stop respecting me. That you talk to me every day. I can’t believe that after so many years of wanting, I finally got a taste and it’s better than I could have ever dreamed.
So I want to keep you. I want to have you around. I want to hold on to whatever it is that you and might I have. I want to spend time with you and talk to you and be with you in every sense of the phrase. I want you. It’s so simple. I’d like to see where this goes. But I need to know: what do you want? What do you want from me? Do you want to keep me around? Did you mean it when you promised me next times? Do you really want to see me act and teach me to ride a bike and tell me about programming and show me your favorite movies? Do you really want to sleep beside me? Do you really enjoy my company? Am I just a hook-up to you, or do you want something more? What do you want? What can I expect? What do you want us to be? I have so many questions and I don’t know how to ask them. I hope that you answer them before they rip out of me and ruin the whole thing.
“When someone tells you that
Not everyone can be a star
And someone’s got to be the best friend
Someone’s got to be the supporting character,
Someone’s got to sacrifice themselves for the sake of others -
Tell them to shut up,
Tell them that best friend doesn’t mean a doormat,
And supporting characters get screen time,
And sacrifice shouldn’t feel like a betrayal;
Tell them that growing up doesn’t mean giving up your life,
Tell them you agree -
You’re not a star,
You’re the whole fucking universe,
You give birth to stars with every single breath.
Tell them, and then walk away,
Because, you deserve better than people like that,
You deserve people who aren’t threatened
By self love and self respect.”